So here’s what happened…
As a family of 4 (3rd child is far too old and cool to go anywhere with us anymore) we were enjoying our holiday in Greece on the island of Corfu. Now, as most of you are probably aware one of our children is on the autistic spectrum and over the years we have found the easiest way to get through life is to avoid difficult situations. One of the main things we don’t do is holiday abroad. It creates a level of anxiety unbeknownst to the human race. Seriously. From thinking about a holiday to booking it, packing for it, travelling, arriving, the heat, the food, the currency, the language, the apartment, the shops, the late nights, the swimming. Absolutely everything is different to home. For most people (myself included) this is heaven. A break from the old routine. A change is as good as a rest. A chance to explore the different cultures in the world. Amazing opportunities. But for someone on the spectrum change can be the root of all evil. It is unpredictable, dangerous and should be avoided at all cost. This is the reason we have had one foreign holiday in 10 years and that was literally a ‘short break.’ We usually camp in the UK. We have a modest income so it suits our budget and we know where we are with camping and whilst we visit different sites much of what we do is always the same. The tent, using a communal shower/ toilet block etc, our own car. You get the picture.
This year we decided to push the boundaries. She’s 10 years old. We all have needs. Etc etc. So here we are in Greece. Getting here was beyond crazy but we did it. From the pre trip high anxiety which meant she didn’t sleep for 24 hours before leaving to the airport dramas to the 3 hour flight with turbulence meaning majority of it seatbelts on, restricted to seats followed by the 1 hour taxi transfer to the hotel.
It’s not all bad of course. One thing I love about my kids is there lack of snobbery and appreciation of everything. Upon arrival at the way below average standard apartments I have to say I nearly burst into tears. Partly due to the crazy 24 hour period prior to arrival and my resulting exhaustion and partly because I couldn’t envisage how I could make this work for a full week! The children were amazing. In that moment they jumped for joy. One thing about autism is you know an opinion is honest. Autistic people rarely say things to make you feel better and if they do its very obvious that’s what they’re doing and sometimes they even tell you that’s what they’re doing.
In this moment she used words like awesome and adore and best day of my life! And of course her little sister followed suit. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad I thought. Maybe we can not only survive this but actually enjoy it. If we kept ourselves to ourselves with a strict itinery and eat in the apartment where possible all will be just fine.
Off we went to the pool.
The kids loved the pool.
We purposefully chose a week when our school is closed but most schools are open thinking it would be quieter and cheaper. The latter was correct in fact the former was too however it was difficult in that there were very few children at all. Lots of adults wanting quiet, kid free holidays and this is where we were at 3 days in to our holiday.
We could feel meltdown brewing after a late night and early morning and decided to spare the sun bathers the drama and retire to the apartment for lunch. Once there said meltdown ensued. Whilst trying to deal with it I heard an almighty ‘oi‘. Immediately I went out onto the terrace and a man stood by the poolside shouted up to our first floor apartment “shut the doors or shut her up” I responded saying I am trying to deal with it and he said again “shut the doors then, we don’t all need to listen to that”
I was very shaken up. I hate confrontation. My husband normally does too but i don’t know if it was all the stress or seeing me upset or what but he flew out of that apartment and down the stairs. I cringed. My husband, God love him is a peaceful non confrontational man. Heck, that’s why I married him and yet here he was running head on into confrontation!
From what I understand it was a short conversation mainly consisting of hubby asking him if he had children (the man was holidaying alone) and if any of them were autistic. Low and behold he revealed he had 5 and one had aspergers!
Back in the room, I was a wreck. I hate stuff like this. I am such an advocate for families getting out there and facing up to ignorance but in reality I don’t live by my own advice. Heck I don’t even food or clothes shop with the kids in tow unless absolutely imperative!
We left the hotel and went for a walk and when we returned mid afternoon the guy was still at the pool which it appeared he’d enjoyed exclusive access to all day. We stayed in our room, desperately trying to keep the kids quiet and well behaved. By the time we had finished dinner we all had cabin fever and it was clear this guy wasnt going anywhere. Refusing to let the kids in the pool before it closed for the day was only going to fuel another meltdown so we decided we’d brave it!
10 minutes later the man apologised from his sunbed to my husband as he walked past. His apology consisted of “sorry about earlier, I hope it didn’t ruin your day.”
My husband had every right to shun him and not accept his half baked apology but instead he lowered his pride, physically got down to his level and shook his hand and accepted his apology anyway.
That takes a strong person. Stronger than I who was angry that he did indeed ruin our day. I who wanted to push the guy in the pool or throw things at him all day. 😜
Some readers will also know that I am a Christian (evangelical/ born again/God bothering/happy clappy/ Jesus loving whatever you wanna call it) and that my husband is not. I questioned our relationship when we married 10 years ago and at various points because of our difference in faith and because marriage is just tough. As a Christian i struggle everyday with things im ‘supposed’ to do like turning the other cheek, forgiveness and more. But my husband didn’t even need to think about it. This is why I married him. This is why I love him. This calm non-aggressive man who knows when to apologise, when to accept an apology, and how to make me laugh in a stressful situation. This day didn’t ruin our holiday. The man went home that evening and hopefully learned something from the experience. This day taught me that I am more grateful to God for the husband I have than I ever realised and that I shouldn’t take him for granted. This day helped me realise that as a team we can tackle the world’s ignorance one holiday at a time and that we should never hide away from the world in a locked room ever again!
Everything Between 